This is one adage that I swear by. I completely relate to it too because I have never felt an age. I have felt being high, being low, being crazy, being mature across all ages! I have never done anything according to an appropriate age. I do things because it feels correct at that point of time in my life. Most societies, Indian included has a tendency to chunk out a woman’s behaviour according to her age.
I am sure there must have been some serious science behind this whole ‘age and behavioural pattern phenomenon’ but I personally think that one should plan out a life not according to what the ‘age-behaviour pattern’ deems right but what feels right for you as an individual. Everyone has a different life, everyone has a different destiny and everyone has a different plan in life. Life is meant to be lived in accordance to the song that plays in your heart! Yes, there will be people in your lives who would get a job at twenty-two, get dating by twenty-three and get married by twenty-five. By twenty-seven you will see someone who has a great job and has mothered two kids too. That’s okay and that’s perfect! But maybe that’s not you! Had that been you, you would have been in her place and not where you are now!
Yes, life is smooth when you live by the ‘age-behaviour pattern’ dictated by society. What do you gain by not following this pattern? I will tell you ‘what?’.
- You Live your Passion:
Everyone has a passion. Many people give that passion up because their age deemed it inappropriate. A friend of mine, gave up a business journalist career because she thought that she needs to abide by her ‘age behaviour pattern’. She had always wanted to be a writer but somehow at twenty-two she felt that she should be earning a certain salary, doing a certain kind of job and should have an MNC tag. Why? Because everyone around her was doing that. She felt left out. Why? Because she was following her passion. She had a bright future had she persisted in the same field. Needless to say she left her job, got the ‘right’ job. Where does she stand today? In an unsatisfied job that does not even remotely make her happy. Yes, she is keeping up to the ‘age behaviour pattern’ but somehow she realises it does not work for her.
- Marriage and Kids:
I believe marriage is a sacred institution and bringing in kids into the world is an act of assisting in a divine manifestation. People naturally feel an inclination towards these two beautiful concepts at different ages. One should never be forced into either. It is only when you are prepared mentally and physically that you can really live the magic of marriage and of being a parent. Maybe you prepare late maybe you prepare early. As it involves other sentient human beings I believe destiny of those people are also involved in its manifestation in your life. By hurrying into it because society deems so or delaying it because society deems so does not make sense. Let it happen when it happens.
- About Retirement:
Many people I have met retire at sixty. Not only in the corporate; ironically they retire from an active life. Why?
I have believed it to be the normal way to behave unless I met a friend’s grandmother at her house party. She was an interesting lady and at sixty-five has started her own baking business. You might think she is crazy? A conversation with her proved it otherwise.
When I asked her about her business she told me – ‘I have always wanted to have a baking business. I like to bake these delectable pretty things that always seem to celebrate the good things in life. When I finally got time after holding a successful corporate career and raising three kids, I decided to do so. There are two three reasons for this she said.
First, I wanted to live my passion. Second, If I cannot maintain it for age related issues later I can at least say that I have lived a slice of my burning passion. Third, if I live for another thirty years, I can leave behind a legacy!
It took me some time to react to her thought process. It was a dose of optimism and positivity that my traditionally bound thinking mind took time to process. When I finally understood the wisdom of what she had said I could not help but marvel at her spirit! As I looked after her she winked at me and said ‘caught ya off guard?’
I could not help but bite into her chocolate cake and nod in amazement. Needless to say I was struck both by the taste of the cake and the strength of spirit of this marvellous woman!
Pumped with burning curiosity to know more about her, I looked around for her displays in the party. Quite naturally there was a cheese cake and above it a quotation that read something. Yes, you guessed it right! It read –
Age matters only if you are cheese or wine! Try our age-old cheesecake and vintage wine!